This isn’t directly related to the recent celebrity suicide. My sincere condolences go out to her friends and family. This is a response to the posts I’ve seen and to the subject in general, some of which I speak to from personal experience.
Suicide is a complex subject at any time. It has a long and varied history, carrying many different connotations and deep emotions—from honor and pride to tragedy and loss.
While it’s true that certain news outlets and social media platforms may have contributed to the recent celebrity death, this influence can, at best, be considered contributory.
Yes, there are media outlets and individuals who act insidiously and behave abhorrently. But the problem goes far deeper and reaches much wider than just that.
We have created a society that is vapid, soulless, superficial, narcissistic, and ultimately unfulfilling and unsatisfying. We focus on the unimportant and become easily obsessed with entirely pointless fads, trends, or notions.
Added to this, we are constantly being divided, segregated, and separated—by politics, religion, culture, gender, body shape, or the color of our skin. Even those who fight for equality can sometimes create further divides with their approach and methods.
In part, I believe this is orchestrated by politicians and the media.
While the internet can be an incredibly positive tool, filled with new experiences, lessons, and potential for good, it is still only a tool—and its impact depends entirely on how it is used. You can use a knife or hammer for many purposes, not all of which are constructive or creative.
I myself have had moments of trolling and displayed negative behavior. I’m not proud of it, and it was during a very dark period for me. Hopefully, I’ve grown and learned a great deal, and I will continue to strive to be a better person.
One thing I often see people posting about is mental health, showing support for both acknowledging it and helping to overcome its more destructive sides. Yet, I rarely see people doing more than posting a picture or “liking” a cause. They often judge, mock, or simply disengage at other times.
During my own dark days, I’m certain I lost friends (and I probably deserved that, in some ways), and few came to support me. Thankfully, a few very good ones did, and to them, I am always grateful.
It’s a double-edged sword—maybe it even has more edges than that.
People who take their own lives often struggle with mental health issues. I know some who, from the outside, seemed to have perfect lives—until one day, they were simply gone. Others feel external pressures, whether from specific situations or from public opinion, whether their “public” is a small circle or a global audience. But ultimately, it’s still an internal, personal struggle.
Another edge of this sword is the hate some people harbor. Sometimes it’s simply to sell papers, get clicks, or seek attention. Other times, it’s more personal, whether from members of the public or media professionals. Negative attention can be just as addictive as positive attention, and they may be venting their own anger, either at themselves or the world, lashing out in a fight against everything, including themselves.
They are as likely to have mental health issues as the person self-harming (which I believe this behavior to be a form of) or taking their own life. This is not a defense of their behavior, nor is it a judgment on anyone.
But we need to address this issue on the scale it exists: it’s global and multifaceted. We need to rediscover ourselves as individuals, as human beings, and reconnect with what makes us whole—both as individuals and as a community.
Doing so requires time, patience, empathy, humility, understanding, and re-education.
These are just my thoughts on what I’ve seen posted over the past couple of days, as well as my own experience. I’ve had family members and friends who either attempted or took their own lives. My hometown was once “famous” for suicide, and I was one of the organizers of a concert held in conjunction with the Samaritans. We raised funds, but more importantly, we focused on raising awareness and understanding.
Be good to yourself, and to each other…
Mathew James Ford 